Panic Attack Treatments and Their Effectiveness


Panic attacks are an ugly thing to experience. Not only does it inconvenience you from the what you are currently doing, but it can permanently bruise your psyche if you don't treat it in its early stages. Although there have been psychotherapy and medication that can mediate its effect or lessen it to a certain extent, it can be quite difficult and can sometimes worsen your condition if you get off the drugs too. It might be a hard condition to manage, but it is not an impossible thing to overcome as many before you have been able to eliminate panic disorder from their lives.
Stopping a Panic Attack
Panic attack treatments don't necessarily have to be in a form of a pill; rather, they can be achieved by keeping a peaceful state of mind. Relaxation techniques and expressing yourself through other artistic mediums have been known to lessen the frequency of your attack.
When you're under panic attack, your bloodstream is shot with adrenaline; these pea-sized adrenal glands will give you heightened senses to respond to threats. Since these are essentially panic attacks, this makes you essentially afraid of nothing concrete. Although these attacks can pass, they can easily be misinterpreted as a different serious condition, therefore exacerbating it even more.
To be precise, you have roughly three minutes before adrenaline kicks into high gear, during this time you can essentially stop a panic attack. This can give you ample time to fight that urge with the following steps for such attack treatments:
1. Chill
The first thing to do when this sort of feeling set in is to remain calm. Panicking even further will only worsen it. Slowly take deep breathes. Remember, do this in order to keep your heart rate from escalating.
2. Don't Take in Negative Vibes
One thing defining panic attacks is the mere fact that it's powered by fear and escalating emotions. This is why thinking negatively about the situation will only heighten the pace of the adrenaline to attack up into your system. Picture something positive and retain that image through the ordeal.
3. Use a "Safe" Word.
This is essentially using a "coping mechanism" to trick your brain into relaxing itself. This is much like assuring yourself. Since at this point you'll be going through an episode of being afraid, you'll need to cope. Saying something like "I am going to be fine, this isn't going to destroy me." or "I will get through this!" can help in diverting your attentions to more positive inclinations.
4. Accept
Validate to yourself that you are afraid. It is a natural reaction that you should feel to keep you from harm. To acknowledge that you are afraid is to realize that you are a human being; however there is a fine line about professing that fear is a natural emotion and encouraging it, so be careful.
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Panic Attack Anxiety Disorder


You remember the Cable series, The Sopranos? Do you remember what it was that brought Tony into psychiatric therapy with Dr. Malfi to begin with? Yeah, that's right. He was suffering from panic attack anxiety disorder.
Turns out the stress of a life of crime wasn't healthy. Go figure, huh?
But you don't have to be a gangster who goes to work everyday with a bunch of sociopaths and thugs to get an anxiety disorder. You can get it from the everyday stresses of most any life. Anxiety Disorder affects a large number of Americans and many, just like Tony Soprano, don't even know what they have.
Because the symptoms mimic a heart attack, most people think that's what's causing their problems. But this is no laughing matter. You might even say it's as serious as a heart attack.
Here's what you need to know:
Psychological Symptoms:
The main symptom of a panic attack is intense and overwhelming fear. You feel as if you could die at any second, and often during an attack, you might actually be convinced that you are dying.
Some people, when they are in the midst of a panic attack, feel as if they are losing their minds. These intense feelings and the loss of control that comes with them make sufferers believe that their minds are coming completely loose from their bodies.
Less often, some people will feel as they are in a dream like state or as if things are completely unreal. This dream like state only adds to their anxiety and intensifies the attacks.
Physical Symptoms:
The physical symptoms of a panic attack will often mask the psychological ones. So some sufferers will be rushed to the emergency room only to find that the doctors cannot find anything physically wrong with them.
But the physical symptoms are distinctive in themselves. Typically, during an attack the sufferer will experience increased heart rate, trembling, hot or cold flashes, headaches and nausea.
Treatment:
The main treatment for panic attack anxiety disorder is behavior therapy. Often by talking through the problem you come to a better understanding of the causes of your condition and of the triggers for your attacks. More often than not, the therapist will also prescribe an anti-depression medication during your therapy to help you with the attacks while you are still working through the issues that caused them. These drug therapies are very effective at stopping the symptoms but they do not really treat the underlying problems.
The Brown Bag Method: Another useful technique for helping you to cope with panic attacks is called "the brown bag method". You simply have a friend accompany you into a quiet room during the onset of one of your attacks. The friend then gives you moral support while you regulate your respiratory system by breathing in and out of a brown bag. Many sufferers find that this method helps them to bring their attacks under control. This is only a technique for dealing with the onset, however. It does not actually deal with the underlying issues that cause them in the first place.
The first step in learning to deal with your anxiety disorder, however, is doing exactly what you are doing right now, researching your problem. Often, as you come to a better understanding of exactly how these disorders work, you will already start to see the effects of your new understanding on the quality of your panic attacks. When you first experience them, part of what makes them so intense is the fact that you don't really know what is happening to you. But as you begin to understand that what you are having is a panic attack, the attack itself loses a great deal of its intensity.
So be sure that you continue to inform yourself about your condition and look to find the help that you need in order to overcome the underlying conditions of your anxiety disorder.
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How to Stop Panic Attacks Effectively


If you are suffering from panic attacks, chances are that it will come without warning and render you helpless when it strikes. No matter the number of times you have faced such attacks, at the instant of the attack, the first reaction you feel is fear. Only with knowledge and understanding of the symptoms and causes of the attacks can you take steps to stop them.
The first step to stop the attacks is to recognize the symptoms of the attack. These can be one or many of the following:
- Hyperventilation
- Choking or smothering sensation
- Sweating
- Nausea or dizziness
- Chest and stomach pain or discomfort
- Depersonalization
These symptoms can be frightening but they are not so harmful. They are only displayed due to some imagined danger by the mind. Once you realize that they cannot harm you, you can take steps to combat them.
Secondly, you need to learn about the cause of these attacks. The attacks occur because they are triggered because of some reason. Most of these reasons are related to stress due to situations or events in your life. The causes can be:
- Genetic or hereditary- family history of anxiety disorders
- Medical- mostly heart problems
- Substance abuse and withdrawal
- Phobias- extreme fear about certain objects or events
- Traumatic events in the past.
People with panic disorders are unable to handle the amount of stress brought on by these events and thus suffer from attacks.
Once you learn about the causes and symptoms of your panic attacks, you can take steps to stop them effectively. You can avoid situations or objects which trigger the attacks in the first place. You can stop them by following one or more of the following methods.
- Learn relaxation techniques as they help you to keep yourself in control during the attacks.
- Get professional help such as counseling and therapy to stop the attacks. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the most successful therapy for panic attacks. The therapist will help you learn more about the causes of your attacks and then you can deal with the problems and stop them from happening again.
- Medication should only be used under medical supervision in very severe cases. They have side effects which might cause more problems instead of reducing them.
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How to Cure Anxiety and Panic Attacks?


Anxiety and panic attacks is a mental disorder in which a person fears just about anything and thinking every outcome will turn out to be the worst. This fear is frightening because it is so intense and fear that someone is always after them.
If you have any type of disorder that is associated with anxiety, then your mind will always be focused on being scared for no reason. You will always feel that there is no solution to your unfounded fear and that there is no way out.
You feel paralyzed as though you can't do anything. Basically, you are frozen with fear. This disorder can attack at any time. It's all in the mind. If you constantly fear and expect to have an anxiety attack or something related to it, then it will happen again and again.
The feeling of anxiety comes from your brain. According to studies that deal with this, there are at least two areas of your brain that help to trigger the sense of fear and anxiety in your mind. It causes your brain to have a defense mechanism and then you react.
There are ways to cure anxiety and panic and panic attacks by lower the chance of a strike of a panic attack. You can learn how to cope with them better. You must recognize the symptoms. When the initial ones begin, they may be others that come along. Just remember to take slow and deep breaths.
Keep lowering you anxiety level through things such as exercise and meditation. Don't be in a rush and take your time with this. Doing it quickly can defeat the purpose.
Don't push too hard on yourself. Take it easy. Don't beat yourself over the head criticizing yourself because of your condition. Make sure that you avoid things such as cigarettes, tea that have caffeine, and carbonated drinks. That may be difficult, but at least start weaning your way off slowly.
Work on not thinking about things that may have been traumatic for you in the past. These traumatic events can shape how you will react to things in the future. You cannot allow the past to hinder you if you are looking to move forward.
Make sure to keep a loving and understanding support system around you so that you will be able to move forward every day. Whether it's family members or a friend, they need to be genuinely interested in help you get better and relieve those fears that you have hidden inside.

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Eliminate Panic Attacks Quickly


When Is the Need to Seek Professional Panic Attack Help?
Panic attack help becomes necessary when the person suffering from it is unable to control it by self. In most cases, self help and therapeutic treatments are sufficient to take care of this issue but in some individuals it is serious and they have to take medication.
Before trying to seek any help related to the panic and anxiety, it is important to know how to identify the symptoms of panic attacks.
Generally, these attacks are a result of excessive anxiety about a future event that may or may not take place. The person feels the impending trouble which may be real or imaginary.
To overcome these attacks, people use self-help, psychological therapy, and prescription medications. Following are some important ways that can be used to overcome panic attacks.
Avoiding the Cause
This is the most obvious panic attack help option that is preferred by panic and anxiety suffering individuals. It is better to avoid the issue that triggers this problem. At the same time, it does not solve the main problem and the person remains untreated.
Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle
Individuals who are underweight or overweight, consume alcohol beyond advised limit, smoke excessively, never exercise, and do not have their meals on time are more likely to suffer panic attacks. Individuals at risk of panic or anxiety should adopt a healthy lifestyle.
A healthy person is less likely to suffer this type of attack and need any panic attack help. A regular regimen of exercises, proper meals on time, and better stress management techniques are very helpful in keeping this problem away.
Therapeutic Help
When it comes to panic attack help, there are therapists who specialize in this field. They are certified and trained medical professionals to diagnose this problem and offer the right solutions.
Psychological therapists know when a person can be cured with simple therapeutic treatments and when it is better to refer that person to a doctor. They also use various therapeutic techniques that help treat this condition.
Doctor and Medication
If panic and anxiety attack therapies prove ineffective then the person suffering this condition has to visit a doctor. After checking the patient, the doctor may prescribe medications. Generally, the prescription drugs include relaxants and anti-anxiety medicines.
Controlling Personal Life
Many times, panic attacks are caused by extreme difficulties faced in personal life. It is important to solve a problem in the initial stage itself and do not let it develop into a big problem when it becomes difficult to solve.
This requires being a good planner and effective manager. It is also important to be financially secure. Worrying too much about profession or job can be damaging to the health. It leads to anxiety and depression.
It is a good idea to have multiple income sources so that there is no dependence on a single job.
Immediate Help For Panic and Anxiety
It is important to know what to do if the panic attack strikes even after following these guidelines and undergoing prescribed treatments.
Generally, other people who do not know about this issue underestimate the seriousness of a person suffering from these conditions.
Family members and close friends must be aware of the causes that trigger panic attacks in a person.
Many times, panic attacks are confused with mild heart attacks.
It is necessary to know the symptoms so that the condition can be diagnosed properly. In case of an attack, the person should try to breathe normally, relax the body, and reassures self.
Generally, the attack lasts about 10 minutes so there is no need to dread it. Many times, the anxiety goes away on its own without any self-help, therapy or medical treatment. However, treating the condition permanently requires seeking professional medical help.
Panic attacks are also caused during some types of illnesses. Before undergoing any treatment for an illness, it is best to ask the doctor if during or after the treatment there may be panic attacks. There is need to avoid home treatment if the condition has been diagnosed as heart problem.
After checking the symptoms, doctors may also diagnose the condition as depression, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, heart attack problem, or a mental disorder.
It is important that there is no confusion about symptoms and the condition is diagnosed properly. In most cases, panic attack help like psychotherapy combined with medications is sufficient to treat this condition.
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Panic Attack Panic Attack Information


Panic attacks are real and they do account for over 20% of all emergency room visits. If you have never had one yourself it is difficult to describe and from the outside looking in they are hard to believe. But for the person having one, it is all too real.
It was in 1980 when the medical community gave this episode the name "Panic Attack." Panic attacks are part of the anxiety family and are treated by most physicians with the same pharmaceuticals that they use for anxiety.
Panic Attacks and anxiety in general is like a boiling over effect. The onset of an attack usually starts with a feeling of uneasiness. You just don't feel normal and you become sensitive to your environment. Your sense of smell, taste, touch, sound, and sight is heightened as your heart begins to race. Your attack is coming on now; you feel it and you can't do anything about it. As the attack begins you probably have one or more of the following feelings:
• A sense of impending death
• Sweating
• Shortness of Breath
• Tightness in your throat
• Hyperventilation
• Faintness Trembling Chills
• Dizziness
• Hot Flashes
• Nausea
• Headache
• Chest Pain
• Abdominal Cramping
At the end of your attack you are wiped out. You feel fatigue and worn out but most of all you are worried about going through another one at any time. Your behavior at home begins to change as well as work or with your family. You probably think you are going crazy or having a heart attack.
Treatments for panic attacks vary from doctor to doctor. However, most medications used act on the central nervous system to reduce anxiety and related symptoms.
Anti-anxiety medications, antidepressants, and cognitive behavioral therapy (working with a therapist) have been successfully used to treat panic disorders. The following medication classes have been useful:
• Benzodiazepines: anti-anxiety medications that include aprolazam (Xanax). These drugs are very easy to become dependent on or addicted to in this class of medications. Usually used only on a temporary basis.
• Antidepressants: known as SSRI's (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) are the most commonly used medications for panic disorder. They include fluoxetine (Prozac), sertraline (Zoloft), paroxetine (Paxil), fluvoxamine (Luvox), cetalopram (Celexa), and escitalopram (Lexapro).
• Monoaxmine oxidase inhibitors (MAOI's): such as phnelzine (Nardil) tranylcypramine (Parnate), and isocarboxazid (Marplan) are only used when none of the other drugs work. MAOI's are the most effective medications for panic disorder, but they have serious side effects and they can interact with other drugs and foods.
Behavioral treatment appears to have long-lasting benefits.
Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and regularly scheduled meals may help reduce the frequency of the attacks. Reduce or avoid the use of caffeine and other stimulants.
Some doctors may prescribe cognitive-behavioral therapy. Usually this is for those patients that have had some sort of trauma in their life that may be triggering the attacks. This therapy may also include mental imagery and relaxation techniques. Behavioral therapy appears to have long lasting results.
Genetics may play a role in the cause of panic attacks, however the exact cause is unknown. It is known that panic disorders are twice as common in women as in men. The onset of symptoms usually begins after the age of 25 with symptoms being very rare in children.
A full battery of test is run mainly to rule out any other potential illness. If you have had an attack or have come close to one be sure and see your physician as soon as possible. Treatments are available and with the proper diagnosis you should be able to get your life back to normal.

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My Panic Attack Journey


How would you describe your first panic attack? Scared, worried, the thought that something is seriously wrong with you. Your first thought wasn't, "it's all in my head". How can this all stem from the same place that gives you excitement, anger, and sadness? That it is also a part of your personality. This made me reflect on how this happened to me. Could it have been prevented? I started to think back as early as my childhood.
I can remember when panic attacks controlled my life. It was the middle of October 2005; I had just received a promotion at my job a month prior. I also was in school full time. Things were going terribly wrong at work; I had hired a friend with no experience because I needed the help and she needed a job. She was not making any progress. And I had felt that EVERYTHING at this company was dumped on me. I had only received this promotion because the person who had the position was leaving along with his loyal crew of workers. I had only been with the company for a couple of months and I knew that I had to take the responsibility on; to make more money and maintain full time hours. Little did I know that this was going to be the straw that broke the camel's back. But can I pinpoint where it all stemmed from? Where I may be able to see warning signs in my own future children?
I was a child who always worried. I was the scaredy cat; the one that other kids called chicken. I had issues with the development of my leg muscles, which left me weaker than the average child plus other genetic issues with my ankles and knees. Needless to say, I fell down a lot as a child. I was always afraid; afraid of the kids at school, afraid of disappointing my mother and making her angry, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of not having any friends, afraid of being the last to be picked on the team, afraid of failing. It was exhausting. I even suffered what I would consider a mental/nervous breakdown when I was 10 years old in the beginning of 6th grade due to being constantly bullied. My mother decided to take me out of private school and home school me for a year. I'm not sure what my mental health would have been had she kept me in that school.
Two years later when I was twelve, I was with my cousins and my father at a public swimming pool. It was a 12ft deep pool. I was capable of swimming; I had learned how to swim at three due to my grandfather being a life guard and I even taught my little sister how to swim. Yet I was terrified. I was terrified at the fact that I couldn't touch the ground with my feet and keep my head above water. But then all of a sudden I got this willpower/urge to go on the diving board, nothing too high in the air. And I jumped off it, over and over again. I must have done it at least ten times, everything was fine. Went home and later that night, I thought about the whole process of climbing up the board and jumping off it and swimming to the ladder. I was instantly terrified. What if this happened or that happened? I knew that I would NEVER do that again.
My teenage years brought driving in cars with inexperienced drivers; which oddly did not concern me. It did not bother me that they would race others or stuff a five passenger car with eight people. I just got in and had a good time. My boyfriend when I was seventeen had a habit of rolling through stop signs. It did concern me; but what was I going to do? And one day we were t-boned right down the block from my house. Luckily I only suffered from a couple of minor cuts from shattered glass. His car was destroyed and so was our relationship. A few months later I was in the car with another friend. She had a habit of not paying attention; and ended up rear ending a truck. Nothing too devastating, her car was repairable and we were all alright.
Finally, it was my turn to own a car. I had my license for a year and I worked hard after school and earned enough money to buy my first car. It was a Pontiac Grand Am. I got to drive to school and work and use it anytime I wanted. I even got a job a little further away since I didn't have to rely on my mother to drive me. Everything was going okay. Until a couple of months later when on my lunch break, my inexperience kicked in and I pulled out in front of someone that I did not notice and was t-boned (again). The car was destroyed and so was that job as well as my independent spirit. A couple of months later I managed to get an old truck. The truck drove so badly in the snow (the four wheel drive did not work) that I would start crying. It also had terrible wind resistant's which would make me so frustrated that I would start crying. I had these moments in which I had no control and I was physically starting to feel it. One day I even hit a patch of black ice and went into the woods destroying my front fender; digging a little deeper into my worrying thoughts.
Two years later now in my twenties I started a new job in which I made some more money. So I decided to buy myself a new car. It was great. I drove places without worrying that it would break down. I did a couple of long drives. I also signed up for a class at the furthest campus which was thirty miles away since there wouldn't be an issue of how I would be getting there. This brings me back to the beginning of the article of getting the promotion at my fairly new job. I was starting to feel the weight of the position on me. I had a boss who could switch from good to bad in the matter of seconds, a worker/friend who was incompetent. And a boat load of unhappy customers. I couldn't escape from it when I got home from work. My thoughts would be racing about what issues I would be encountering the next day. I took classes at night; luckily it was art so it kept me in peaceful zone. Unfortunately it could not save me from what was looming ahead.
October 2005, I was about to turn 22 in a couple of weeks. I was driving home at night on a familiar highway. I quickly became deliriously light headed, my head was foggy and there was a tightening on the back of my neck/head and I had an intense hot flash. I immediately went over to the right lane, contemplating if I should pull over. I then realized I was only one exit away. I had NO idea what was wrong with me. I just took it slow and I made it home. I was living with my boyfriend (now husband). I walked through the door and was scared, stunned, shocked; I had no idea what was wrong with me. I had just recently lost 40 lbs. He thought maybe I was just hungry. So I ate and went to bed. The next morning I got ready for work. I started to eat a bowl of cereal and thought about the fact that I had to drive to work. I then started to become dizzy and started having hot flashes. I knew I had to be checked out. I called my job to say I was going to be late, called my mom to take me to the doctor.
The doctor didn't know what it was. So he recommended me to see a neurologist and a cardiologist. Neurologist didn't see anything wrong. But when I went to the cardiologist, one of the tests is to go on a treadmill. Seems normal right? Nope, I had a fear of treadmills. The doctor treated me like a crazy person and told me how simple it was to just put one foot in front of the other. Well, with anyone with phobias knows, it's NEVER simple. What if I stopped, and fell? My friend from JR. high had scars on her knees from falling on a treadmill, that could easily happen to me. Every time I got on and the doctor started it, I jumped off. We tried over and over again. I was so frustrated, I started crying. No one understood what I was going through. The doctor looked at me and said "maybe you should go see a psychiatrist".
Me, see a psychiatrist? So he's saying this is all in my head? That couldn't be it. There has to be something medically wrong with me that could be cured. Or maybe it was my windshield; maybe the angle of it triggers these attacks? Or maybe it's because I started wearing fake earring and it's screwing with my equilibrium, which is making me dizzy. Or maybe there is something wrong with my eyes. I had to do something. I had a car I was making payments on and I was relying on others to drive me around, or even take taxis to get around. I even started looking at the public bus schedule to get to work, which was a joke. I would have to be at the bus stop at 6:20am to make it to work by 9am and my job was only 9 miles away. That was not going to work.
I go to see the psychiatrist, who listens to me for ten minutes and then writes me a prescription for Zoloft. An anti-depressant, but I'm not depressed? Whatever, I'll try anything to get back to normal. So I begin taking anti-depressants, still panicking when I attempt to drive. I decide that I'm paying for my car, I better use it. So I start to develop coping strategies. I would crack my window to have the sound and the feel of the wind keep me in reality. And even leaning my head onto my left hand became a habit. And I would always catch my shoulders up by my ears. And my teeth would be constantly clenched. I became obsessed with how clean my wind shield was. I was still partially convinced that was the issue, because my mother complained about how slanted it was. I would go through bottles of windshield wiping fluid like no one's business. I even purchased from an infomercial, this 'special' glass cleaner that was supposed to eliminate glare. I started to avoid highways. I would panic if I didn't have a car in front of me (it provided some kind of focal point). And I would really panic if there was car behind me, I felt like they knew that there was something wrong with me. I would usually pull over and let them pass me. The phobias started to manifest. I started to get the feeling that I could no longer control myself in public. That I would scream out during class or during a movie at the cinemas or open the car door when someone else was driving and jump out for no reason at all.
My phobia list was growing. Being in cars in general (I couldn't control what others were doing) deep water (the mass of it freaked me out), boats (I could jump off the side), planes (I could go crazy while we're in the air and open the door), heights (a force could pull me over). Elevators (it could plummet to the bottom). My boyfriend even got me Broadway tickets for my birthday and got front row on the balcony. I was in tears curled up in the fetal position because I was convinced that somehow I was going over the edge. Luckily they were nice enough to give us seats on the ground level. And so many other odd phobias that I don't even remember them all.
I stopped taking the anti-depressants, I hated not feeling anything. I felt no love, no hate, no excitement, just blah. Plus I was still having panic attacks. I would sit in the last class of the night, obsessively looking at the time & thinking about the drive home. All the different points of my journey and how long it took to get to each one, needless to say I did not give that class 100%. I started researching online about anxiety and methods of treating it since the medical world had let me down. If you suffer from panic attacks you get to the point where you are willing try anything. I just kept thinking about my future. I knew that I wanted to have children. How on earth was I going to be able to do that?! And have my baby in my car while I was driving?! The thought made me absolutely mad, it brought me to tears.
A year had passed and a woman at work recommended acupuncture. I was like sure, anything. It was nice, but the panic attacks were still happening. I felt that the treatments just helped out my extremely tense muscles. She gave me some herbs and some rescue remedy drops. I continued to cope with my driving, avoiding highways. I had to know my route in my head before I went. If someone tried to change it, I would get upset and overreact and get angry at them for being so insensitive. I found some DVD/CD set online. I figured "hey these testimonials sound good; these people seem really happy and panic free". I wanted panic attacks to be a thing of the past. So I ordered it. I think it was around $80. I would listen to it in my car. It was alright, it basically told you to stop having caffeine and sugar, exercise, and take time during the day to lie down and have breathing exercises. Also according to them, the listener (meaning me) also suffered from depression and insomnia. I just thought to myself, "the effort that I put into everyday stupid things, plus work, plus school I was exhausted by the end of the day. I passed OUT; there was never an issue of insomnia". I couldn't relate. Basically it was a CD promoting relaxation, oh and generating new phobias. I was fine with red lights. I use to actually welcome them because it kept me aware; it gave me an opportunity to relax. But one of the people on the CD talked about how anxious they got at red lights. Yup, add that to my phobia list. I believed that if I was the first or second car at a red light I was not going to be able to wait and will uncontrollably slam down on my accelerator through the red light. My foot got so tense it was unbearable. I told myself worst case scenario I could put my car into park; it never did get to that point. And don't even mention railroad crossings. So no highways and red lights were excruciating. I even drove myself to hospital's emergency room at one point because I just couldn't take it anymore.
Another year, I was learning as many back roads as possible, coping at red lights and coping with driving in general. There was no relief in sight. I continued with the acupuncture. She told me to stop working so much. In my head I was like, "yea right". Another year of people not getting what I was going through; thinking that I was completely mental or that I was just making it up. I always wished that I could give the person who did not understand what I was going through the physical symptoms for 30 seconds. Then they would back off and leave me be. I tried reiki, hypnosis, psychics, st. john's wort, and l-theanine. Still panic attacks were happening on the regular. I would have them while driving and others that were in the car had no idea. I was starting to finally convince myself that it was in my head. And let go of the fact that I didn't have cancer or an auto-immune disease. This was because I noticed that whenever I had a lot of stuff going in my life that wasn't related to my anxiety; I was driving fine. I was still taking back roads; but my general panic attack symptoms and the tenseness diminished. This was because I was thinking about other stuff.
I decided to take advantage of the psychology program at my school. Turns out that they had an anxiety clinic, and I had no idea. But of course there was a waiting list. A few weeks later I received a call that they had an opening in their program. And it was $20 a session and I would have to expose myself to my fears. I said fine, fine, whatever, I would pay $100 a session if it meant I would never have to deal with a panic attack again. I just remember being so envious of people who just hopped in their car and went here and there. They didn't have to think about it. They just did it. I just wanted that; something as simple as someone asking me if I could drive up to the store for coffee and I would say "sure" and jump in my car and go. But instead I started thinking about the route and knew that there was a left turn involved so I would be apprehensive. And they got the hint. It was embarrassing. I wanted to be the person who could drive to another state. And drive during a long road trip. I wanted so badly to travel; I was in this purgatory within myself. I started to convince myself that that was never going to be me.
The cure; so I met with the psychologist and a grad-student. I spent two sessions just dumping everything on them while crying, full of anger and fear. They determined that I was obsessive compulsive with a panic/anxiety disorder. I started working one on one with the grad-student. She wanted me to have the panic attack symptoms in the office. I told her that the foggy disoriented feeling almost felt like I was somersaulting. So we tried that in the office. Then it was time for my exposures. Which was to go into these panic trigger situations and have the panic attacks. And don't escape mentally but live in the moment. I told them that the fact that their office was on the fourth floor freaked me out. So they took me to the window. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I started to get cold sweats. It got better as time went on. I had to discuss how I was feeling, and how I rated my level of panic. We then went to the building across the way that had 19 floors with an elevator. I had to ride up and down it over and over and over again. I must have done it 15 to 20 times. I had to think about what I was doing. I had to be in the moment. She even took me to the window on the 19th floor I had to sit there until my rate of panic went down. Then it was the treadmill. Red lights; she made me do red lights. I thought to myself, "really? What have I ever done to you?" The larger the intersection was, the larger the panic was. I always avoided being the first car because I was capable of killing somebody (in my mind). I did it, over and over. It was excruciating. I cursed and cried. I called her every name in the book. The panic began to go down, but not completely. So my homework was to do these exposures. I brought my boyfriend who was my safe person. I thought if I did something out of the norm, that he would save us. It got better though; my foot started to relax a little bit more. Highways; was not as painful as I thought. I stayed in the right lane at first so that I could easily escape. Then I moved into the middle. It took a while to get in the left (fast lane). But it didn't matter. I hadn't been on a highway in 6 months. I was unstoppable! I could do anything now and get there faster too!
2008, unfortunately was not my year. My sister was going through tough stuff that tore my family apart and estranged me from her for a while. That was on my mind. Then my relationship between my safe person (my boyfriend) was in trouble. I began to regress. I stopped doing my exposures. I had ended my treatments with the anxiety clinic because I had completed the program earlier in the year. We broke up and I moved out, after 6 and half years of being together. I was never on my own in my adulthood. I was scared. I stopped driving on highways all together. But luckily other things were easier than prior to my treatment. I gained a bunch of weight and was miserable. 2009; brought more light in my life. After four months apart my boyfriend came to get me back and we became engaged a few months later. I began graduate school. And I started back up on driving on highways again; with the same behavior methods that I learned during my treatment with the anxiety clinic. I even bought a brand new car.
Unfortunately a close friend of ours was killed in a motorcycle accident early that summer. He was suppose to be in our wedding party and was suppose to be a part of our journey through life. We were devastated; I remember so many conversations with him. I even discussed my panic attacks with him. I regressed. I kept replaying his accident in my head over and over again; it terrified me. Life was so delicate. I tried doing his sister a favor and drive her somewhere (I had to take a highway). Of course I had to do it. I suffered and coped the whole way, it was as if I never went through treatment. The following year was my graduation and our wedding. And I reconciled fully with my sister. My grandmother called it 'my year'. My driving was still limited to local roads, no highways. Around mid-fall of 2010, something clicked. I hated my husband's driving. He was always glancing at everything and changed lanes too frequently. I love him, but I would consider him a reckless driver. We had to drive a county over which was about 40 miles away. I convinced myself that whatever issues that were going on in my head could not be as bad as enduring being a passenger while he drove. I knew that if he was always doing the driving, we would be getting divorced. So after a heated argument; I told him that I will do all the driving for now on. And I meant it.
I began highways again. I was feeling good. And then something remarkable happened. I went out one night with a couple of friends. I normally wouldn't have gone out because I'm not a night owl. But my one friend was going away for a while for work. I volunteered to drive. It was going good. Until I was at a traffic light (the first car) and I was rear ended by a pathfinder going about 50mph. My car went across the intersection. My year old car was totaled. And luckily everyone was okay.
My husband and my sister's reaction was, "oh boy, she's never going to drive again". You would think that, right? But that never even crossed my mind. I was a driver now. I got a rental for a week and eventually decided to purchase a used jeep. And I kept driving. I still drove highways. Nights were a little hazy, but got better.
That following spring, I did my first drive EVER off the island. I drove twice that summer two states away to visit my grandmother. And that following fall I took a road trip with my mother and sister 600 miles away. There were parts of the journey when I got a little tense. But some of it you'll never be able to get rid of. We are naturally nervous people who get uncomfortable driving next to tractor trailers in the mountains; nothing abnormal about it. I even did a trip by myself into the city a month ago. All these things are such a big deal, because I thought that I would NEVER be able to do them. I feel like I've gained so much. And I'm grateful everyday that I didn't let panic attacks control my life. I haven't had a panic attack in probably two years. I believe that anyone is capable of getting their life back. I'm living proof.

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Panic Attack Symptoms Overview


Was what you had really a panic attack? That's the question. It felt like so much more. So physical! How could it be only in your head? So what are the panic attack symptoms?
First, the symptoms don't exist in a void. They are a part of a person's experience. So let me introduce you to my friend Anna.
Anna has suffered from panic attacks her whole adult life and her case, because it is fairly typical, can give you a good sense of how these symptoms affect an actual person's life. So here are Anna's symptoms with brief descriptions of how they affected her life.
The Physical Symptoms:
Difficulty Breathing
One of the scariest parts of a panic attack is difficulty breathing. Not being able to catch your breath can really unnerve you. This was the first thing Anna noticed during her first attack. She had just started college and was at the supermarket with her roommate when all of a sudden she felt like she was drowning. Anna didn't know what to do.
Chest Pains
First time victims often think they're having heart attacks because one of the main symptoms is chest pains. That's what Anna thought in the supermarket. As the difficulty breathing got worse, she suddenly felt a chest pain so strong it felt as if a ton of bricks had fallen on her chest. Imagine her terror.
Luckily, Anna's roommate noticed her panicked expression and walked her back to the dorm. They would've dialed 911 had Anna's symptoms not evaporated.
Hot/Cold Flashes
One of the less extreme symptoms is temperature discomfort. A sufferer feels so uncomfortably hot they break into a sweat. Or they begin trembling from cold. Even though it was relatively warm back at the dorm Anna trembled violently while waiting for her chest pains and breathing to normalize. Anna and her roommate didn't know what to think. Was it a mild heart attack? The flu?
When Anna fully recovered she felt embarrassed by the whole episode.
Dizziness/Weakness
Typically a loss of balance or lightheadedness is also one of the panic attack symptoms. A sufferer feels a general bodily weakness or like they will faint. On her second day of classes Anna was crowding into a lecture hall when she suddenly felt dizzy. She got to her seat but the whole room seemed to spin as she sat there. Her breathing started to speed up. Terrified, Anna realized she was about to have another episode.
Increased Heart Rate
A racing heart is the most common physical aspect of the panic attack symptoms. Anna noticed her heart rate before the chest pains. She put her hand on her chest and felt her heart ratcheting at her rib cage. It was as if a boa constrictor were slowly squeezing her to death.
The class TA noticed Anna's discomfort and helped her out of class. He gave her his paper lunch bag and had her breath into it. He was the first one who mentioned panic attacks. His mother had suffered from them so he recognized what Anna was going through.
Psychological Symptoms:
Terror
The key psychological symptom is the absolute fear and certainty you are dying. Afterward, Anna and the TA lunched in a quiet courtyard. She confided that during the attack she was certain she was about to die. He told her about his mother's episodes and Anna immediately recognized her own symptoms in his story. At his urging she made an appointment at the campus health clinic.
Loss of Control
The terror is accompanied by the feeling that you're losing your mind and are out of control. For Anna, this was at the heart of her anxiety disorder. A mental health professional helped Anna discover that her fear of crowded places and her separation anxiety were the main triggers for her panic attacks.
Anna learned to deal with her panic attacks. She still occasionally has them but thanks to techniques she's learned she knows how to lessen their magnitude.
If these symptoms sound like what you experienced, then you should get help. Learn more about panic attacks. You've already started on the path to recovery by getting this far. Now keep on going.


Facts And Truths About a Panic Attack


They are not out of the blue.
Most people think that these attacks just occur out of nowhere. Recent findings this is not the case because physiological changes take place in the body a few hours before they occur.
It affects all people.
Some time back people used to think that panic disorders affect only kids but it is now known that they affect people. Whether you are of different races or ages it does not matter. It affects people of all classes.
Frequent exercise helps prevent panic disorder.
People who exercise regularly are less prone to them. Having regular physical activity will help those who are at a higher risk as the exercises reduce their susceptibility to this attacks.
Stressful events are likely to triggers.
Stressful events such as break ups or losing jobs have been found to increase the chances of one getting panic disorders. Also the fear of when the next wave will occur leads to increased stress levels that will most definitely trigger more in the future. The attacks do not necessarily occur immediately after the stressful events. they could occur even months after when the stressful event took place.
They can be stopped.
The attacks can be stopped even before they begin. This is possible if we really understand our bodies. It may take a bit of trial and error but if you put enough effort into it you will be able to stop them. If we can control the fear of panicking they would probably not even occur. People who experience them can in the future stop experiencing them. It is not a life time condition.
They are not dangerous.
The panic attacks themselves are not dangerous. However, frequent worrying and stress will have a negative effect on your immune system and will probably cause sickness. Your body is strong and can withstand a lot.
They can be hereditary and genetic.
Research has shown that there are hereditary and genetic traits that predispose individuals to these attacks. Therefore people who have relatives with this condition are more susceptible to having them than those whose relatives are not affected by this condition. But this does not necessarily mean that it is a must for you to experience them.
From the above facts it can be seen that this condition is not as serious as most people consider it to be. With the right information and taking the correct steps panic attacks can easily be averted.
William T. Gudino is one of the chief writer at howtosolvethings.com. He write a vast array of topics that relates to life issues and problems. Be sure to visit our site for solutions you need in life. Feel free to leave your comment on our site for issues/problems not cover by us and even solutions that you had experienced. We would love to hear from you.



My Panic Attack Journey


How would you describe your first panic attack? Scared, worried, the thought that something is seriously wrong with you. Your first thought wasn't, "it's all in my head". How can this all stem from the same place that gives you excitement, anger, and sadness? That it is also a part of your personality. This made me reflect on how this happened to me. Could it have been prevented? I started to think back as early as my childhood.
I can remember when panic attacks controlled my life. It was the middle of October 2005; I had just received a promotion at my job a month prior. I also was in school full time. Things were going terribly wrong at work; I had hired a friend with no experience because I needed the help and she needed a job. She was not making any progress. And I had felt that EVERYTHING at this company was dumped on me. I had only received this promotion because the person who had the position was leaving along with his loyal crew of workers. I had only been with the company for a couple of months and I knew that I had to take the responsibility on; to make more money and maintain full time hours. Little did I know that this was going to be the straw that broke the camel's back. But can I pinpoint where it all stemmed from? Where I may be able to see warning signs in my own future children?
I was a child who always worried. I was the scaredy cat; the one that other kids called chicken. I had issues with the development of my leg muscles, which left me weaker than the average child plus other genetic issues with my ankles and knees. Needless to say, I fell down a lot as a child. I was always afraid; afraid of the kids at school, afraid of disappointing my mother and making her angry, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of not having any friends, afraid of being the last to be picked on the team, afraid of failing. It was exhausting. I even suffered what I would consider a mental/nervous breakdown when I was 10 years old in the beginning of 6th grade due to being constantly bullied. My mother decided to take me out of private school and home school me for a year. I'm not sure what my mental health would have been had she kept me in that school.
Two years later when I was twelve, I was with my cousins and my father at a public swimming pool. It was a 12ft deep pool. I was capable of swimming; I had learned how to swim at three due to my grandfather being a life guard and I even taught my little sister how to swim. Yet I was terrified. I was terrified at the fact that I couldn't touch the ground with my feet and keep my head above water. But then all of a sudden I got this willpower/urge to go on the diving board, nothing too high in the air. And I jumped off it, over and over again. I must have done it at least ten times, everything was fine. Went home and later that night, I thought about the whole process of climbing up the board and jumping off it and swimming to the ladder. I was instantly terrified. What if this happened or that happened? I knew that I would NEVER do that again.
My teenage years brought driving in cars with inexperienced drivers; which oddly did not concern me. It did not bother me that they would race others or stuff a five passenger car with eight people. I just got in and had a good time. My boyfriend when I was seventeen had a habit of rolling through stop signs. It did concern me; but what was I going to do? And one day we were t-boned right down the block from my house. Luckily I only suffered from a couple of minor cuts from shattered glass. His car was destroyed and so was our relationship. A few months later I was in the car with another friend. She had a habit of not paying attention; and ended up rear ending a truck. Nothing too devastating, her car was repairable and we were all alright.
Finally, it was my turn to own a car. I had my license for a year and I worked hard after school and earned enough money to buy my first car. It was a Pontiac Grand Am. I got to drive to school and work and use it anytime I wanted. I even got a job a little further away since I didn't have to rely on my mother to drive me. Everything was going okay. Until a couple of months later when on my lunch break, my inexperience kicked in and I pulled out in front of someone that I did not notice and was t-boned (again). The car was destroyed and so was that job as well as my independent spirit. A couple of months later I managed to get an old truck. The truck drove so badly in the snow (the four wheel drive did not work) that I would start crying. It also had terrible wind resistant's which would make me so frustrated that I would start crying. I had these moments in which I had no control and I was physically starting to feel it. One day I even hit a patch of black ice and went into the woods destroying my front fender; digging a little deeper into my worrying thoughts.
Two years later now in my twenties I started a new job in which I made some more money. So I decided to buy myself a new car. It was great. I drove places without worrying that it would break down. I did a couple of long drives. I also signed up for a class at the furthest campus which was thirty miles away since there wouldn't be an issue of how I would be getting there. This brings me back to the beginning of the article of getting the promotion at my fairly new job. I was starting to feel the weight of the position on me. I had a boss who could switch from good to bad in the matter of seconds, a worker/friend who was incompetent. And a boat load of unhappy customers. I couldn't escape from it when I got home from work. My thoughts would be racing about what issues I would be encountering the next day. I took classes at night; luckily it was art so it kept me in peaceful zone. Unfortunately it could not save me from what was looming ahead.
October 2005, I was about to turn 22 in a couple of weeks. I was driving home at night on a familiar highway. I quickly became deliriously light headed, my head was foggy and there was a tightening on the back of my neck/head and I had an intense hot flash. I immediately went over to the right lane, contemplating if I should pull over. I then realized I was only one exit away. I had NO idea what was wrong with me. I just took it slow and I made it home. I was living with my boyfriend (now husband). I walked through the door and was scared, stunned, shocked; I had no idea what was wrong with me. I had just recently lost 40 lbs. He thought maybe I was just hungry. So I ate and went to bed. The next morning I got ready for work. I started to eat a bowl of cereal and thought about the fact that I had to drive to work. I then started to become dizzy and started having hot flashes. I knew I had to be checked out. I called my job to say I was going to be late, called my mom to take me to the doctor.
The doctor didn't know what it was. So he recommended me to see a neurologist and a cardiologist. Neurologist didn't see anything wrong. But when I went to the cardiologist, one of the tests is to go on a treadmill. Seems normal right? Nope, I had a fear of treadmills. The doctor treated me like a crazy person and told me how simple it was to just put one foot in front of the other. Well, with anyone with phobias knows, it's NEVER simple. What if I stopped, and fell? My friend from JR. high had scars on her knees from falling on a treadmill, that could easily happen to me. Every time I got on and the doctor started it, I jumped off. We tried over and over again. I was so frustrated, I started crying. No one understood what I was going through. The doctor looked at me and said "maybe you should go see a psychiatrist".
Me, see a psychiatrist? So he's saying this is all in my head? That couldn't be it. There has to be something medically wrong with me that could be cured. Or maybe it was my windshield; maybe the angle of it triggers these attacks? Or maybe it's because I started wearing fake earring and it's screwing with my equilibrium, which is making me dizzy. Or maybe there is something wrong with my eyes. I had to do something. I had a car I was making payments on and I was relying on others to drive me around, or even take taxis to get around. I even started looking at the public bus schedule to get to work, which was a joke. I would have to be at the bus stop at 6:20am to make it to work by 9am and my job was only 9 miles away. That was not going to work.
I go to see the psychiatrist, who listens to me for ten minutes and then writes me a prescription for Zoloft. An anti-depressant, but I'm not depressed? Whatever, I'll try anything to get back to normal. So I begin taking anti-depressants, still panicking when I attempt to drive. I decide that I'm paying for my car, I better use it. So I start to develop coping strategies. I would crack my window to have the sound and the feel of the wind keep me in reality. And even leaning my head onto my left hand became a habit. And I would always catch my shoulders up by my ears. And my teeth would be constantly clenched. I became obsessed with how clean my wind shield was. I was still partially convinced that was the issue, because my mother complained about how slanted it was. I would go through bottles of windshield wiping fluid like no one's business. I even purchased from an infomercial, this 'special' glass cleaner that was supposed to eliminate glare. I started to avoid highways. I would panic if I didn't have a car in front of me (it provided some kind of focal point). And I would really panic if there was car behind me, I felt like they knew that there was something wrong with me. I would usually pull over and let them pass me. The phobias started to manifest. I started to get the feeling that I could no longer control myself in public. That I would scream out during class or during a movie at the cinemas or open the car door when someone else was driving and jump out for no reason at all.
My phobia list was growing. Being in cars in general (I couldn't control what others were doing) deep water (the mass of it freaked me out), boats (I could jump off the side), planes (I could go crazy while we're in the air and open the door), heights (a force could pull me over). Elevators (it could plummet to the bottom). My boyfriend even got me Broadway tickets for my birthday and got front row on the balcony. I was in tears curled up in the fetal position because I was convinced that somehow I was going over the edge. Luckily they were nice enough to give us seats on the ground level. And so many other odd phobias that I don't even remember them all.
I stopped taking the anti-depressants, I hated not feeling anything. I felt no love, no hate, no excitement, just blah. Plus I was still having panic attacks. I would sit in the last class of the night, obsessively looking at the time & thinking about the drive home. All the different points of my journey and how long it took to get to each one, needless to say I did not give that class 100%. I started researching online about anxiety and methods of treating it since the medical world had let me down. If you suffer from panic attacks you get to the point where you are willing try anything. I just kept thinking about my future. I knew that I wanted to have children. How on earth was I going to be able to do that?! And have my baby in my car while I was driving?! The thought made me absolutely mad, it brought me to tears.
A year had passed and a woman at work recommended acupuncture. I was like sure, anything. It was nice, but the panic attacks were still happening. I felt that the treatments just helped out my extremely tense muscles. She gave me some herbs and some rescue remedy drops. I continued to cope with my driving, avoiding highways. I had to know my route in my head before I went. If someone tried to change it, I would get upset and overreact and get angry at them for being so insensitive. I found some DVD/CD set online. I figured "hey these testimonials sound good; these people seem really happy and panic free". I wanted panic attacks to be a thing of the past. So I ordered it. I think it was around $80. I would listen to it in my car. It was alright, it basically told you to stop having caffeine and sugar, exercise, and take time during the day to lie down and have breathing exercises. Also according to them, the listener (meaning me) also suffered from depression and insomnia. I just thought to myself, "the effort that I put into everyday stupid things, plus work, plus school I was exhausted by the end of the day. I passed OUT; there was never an issue of insomnia". I couldn't relate. Basically it was a CD promoting relaxation, oh and generating new phobias. I was fine with red lights. I use to actually welcome them because it kept me aware; it gave me an opportunity to relax. But one of the people on the CD talked about how anxious they got at red lights. Yup, add that to my phobia list. I believed that if I was the first or second car at a red light I was not going to be able to wait and will uncontrollably slam down on my accelerator through the red light. My foot got so tense it was unbearable. I told myself worst case scenario I could put my car into park; it never did get to that point. And don't even mention railroad crossings. So no highways and red lights were excruciating. I even drove myself to hospital's emergency room at one point because I just couldn't take it anymore.
Another year, I was learning as many back roads as possible, coping at red lights and coping with driving in general. There was no relief in sight. I continued with the acupuncture. She told me to stop working so much. In my head I was like, "yea right". Another year of people not getting what I was going through; thinking that I was completely mental or that I was just making it up. I always wished that I could give the person who did not understand what I was going through the physical symptoms for 30 seconds. Then they would back off and leave me be. I tried reiki, hypnosis, psychics, st. john's wort, and l-theanine. Still panic attacks were happening on the regular. I would have them while driving and others that were in the car had no idea. I was starting to finally convince myself that it was in my head. And let go of the fact that I didn't have cancer or an auto-immune disease. This was because I noticed that whenever I had a lot of stuff going in my life that wasn't related to my anxiety; I was driving fine. I was still taking back roads; but my general panic attack symptoms and the tenseness diminished. This was because I was thinking about other stuff.
I decided to take advantage of the psychology program at my school. Turns out that they had an anxiety clinic, and I had no idea. But of course there was a waiting list. A few weeks later I received a call that they had an opening in their program. And it was $20 a session and I would have to expose myself to my fears. I said fine, fine, whatever, I would pay $100 a session if it meant I would never have to deal with a panic attack again. I just remember being so envious of people who just hopped in their car and went here and there. They didn't have to think about it. They just did it. I just wanted that; something as simple as someone asking me if I could drive up to the store for coffee and I would say "sure" and jump in my car and go. But instead I started thinking about the route and knew that there was a left turn involved so I would be apprehensive. And they got the hint. It was embarrassing. I wanted to be the person who could drive to another state. And drive during a long road trip. I wanted so badly to travel; I was in this purgatory within myself. I started to convince myself that that was never going to be me.
The cure; so I met with the psychologist and a grad-student. I spent two sessions just dumping everything on them while crying, full of anger and fear. They determined that I was obsessive compulsive with a panic/anxiety disorder. I started working one on one with the grad-student. She wanted me to have the panic attack symptoms in the office. I told her that the foggy disoriented feeling almost felt like I was somersaulting. So we tried that in the office. Then it was time for my exposures. Which was to go into these panic trigger situations and have the panic attacks. And don't escape mentally but live in the moment. I told them that the fact that their office was on the fourth floor freaked me out. So they took me to the window. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I started to get cold sweats. It got better as time went on. I had to discuss how I was feeling, and how I rated my level of panic. We then went to the building across the way that had 19 floors with an elevator. I had to ride up and down it over and over and over again. I must have done it 15 to 20 times. I had to think about what I was doing. I had to be in the moment. She even took me to the window on the 19th floor I had to sit there until my rate of panic went down. Then it was the treadmill. Red lights; she made me do red lights. I thought to myself, "really? What have I ever done to you?" The larger the intersection was, the larger the panic was. I always avoided being the first car because I was capable of killing somebody (in my mind). I did it, over and over. It was excruciating. I cursed and cried. I called her every name in the book. The panic began to go down, but not completely. So my homework was to do these exposures. I brought my boyfriend who was my safe person. I thought if I did something out of the norm, that he would save us. It got better though; my foot started to relax a little bit more. Highways; was not as painful as I thought. I stayed in the right lane at first so that I could easily escape. Then I moved into the middle. It took a while to get in the left (fast lane). But it didn't matter. I hadn't been on a highway in 6 months. I was unstoppable! I could do anything now and get there faster too!
2008, unfortunately was not my year. My sister was going through tough stuff that tore my family apart and estranged me from her for a while. That was on my mind. Then my relationship between my safe person (my boyfriend) was in trouble. I began to regress. I stopped doing my exposures. I had ended my treatments with the anxiety clinic because I had completed the program earlier in the year. We broke up and I moved out, after 6 and half years of being together. I was never on my own in my adulthood. I was scared. I stopped driving on highways all together. But luckily other things were easier than prior to my treatment. I gained a bunch of weight and was miserable. 2009; brought more light in my life. After four months apart my boyfriend came to get me back and we became engaged a few months later. I began graduate school. And I started back up on driving on highways again; with the same behavior methods that I learned during my treatment with the anxiety clinic. I even bought a brand new car.
Unfortunately a close friend of ours was killed in a motorcycle accident early that summer. He was suppose to be in our wedding party and was suppose to be a part of our journey through life. We were devastated; I remember so many conversations with him. I even discussed my panic attacks with him. I regressed. I kept replaying his accident in my head over and over again; it terrified me. Life was so delicate. I tried doing his sister a favor and drive her somewhere (I had to take a highway). Of course I had to do it. I suffered and coped the whole way, it was as if I never went through treatment. The following year was my graduation and our wedding. And I reconciled fully with my sister. My grandmother called it 'my year'. My driving was still limited to local roads, no highways. Around mid-fall of 2010, something clicked. I hated my husband's driving. He was always glancing at everything and changed lanes too frequently. I love him, but I would consider him a reckless driver. We had to drive a county over which was about 40 miles away. I convinced myself that whatever issues that were going on in my head could not be as bad as enduring being a passenger while he drove. I knew that if he was always doing the driving, we would be getting divorced. So after a heated argument; I told him that I will do all the driving for now on. And I meant it.
I began highways again. I was feeling good. And then something remarkable happened. I went out one night with a couple of friends. I normally wouldn't have gone out because I'm not a night owl. But my one friend was going away for a while for work. I volunteered to drive. It was going good. Until I was at a traffic light (the first car) and I was rear ended by a pathfinder going about 50mph. My car went across the intersection. My year old car was totaled. And luckily everyone was okay.
My husband and my sister's reaction was, "oh boy, she's never going to drive again". You would think that, right? But that never even crossed my mind. I was a driver now. I got a rental for a week and eventually decided to purchase a used jeep. And I kept driving. I still drove highways. Nights were a little hazy, but got better.
That following spring, I did my first drive EVER off the island. I drove twice that summer two states away to visit my grandmother. And that following fall I took a road trip with my mother and sister 600 miles away. There were parts of the journey when I got a little tense. But some of it you'll never be able to get rid of. We are naturally nervous people who get uncomfortable driving next to tractor trailers in the mountains; nothing abnormal about it. I even did a trip by myself into the city a month ago. All these things are such a big deal, because I thought that I would NEVER be able to do them. I feel like I've gained so much. And I'm grateful everyday that I didn't let panic attacks control my life. I haven't had a panic attack in probably two years. I believe that anyone is capable of getting their life back. I'm living proof.